july to do's.

(two totally unrelated photos from my weekend at the lake: fireworks and baby-cousin graham, 4, who allowed me to photograph him and his glow sticks until he informed me: "i have the hiccups, i can't take anymore pictures" and then ran away.)

how is it that june was another "what just happened to me?" month??? for reference, my june goals are here, although i didn't really do them. i was pretty productive, though. here's one for all my monthly meet-up friends, and what happened in june:
1. i finally got a file cabinet! i also got some clipboards like the one in my june to do list post and i am excited to hang them up.
2. came up with a pricing structure for screenprinted wedding invites (EDIT: i am so not offering screen printed invitations at this point. but i think the pricing structure will apply to what i do want to offer, so that is good).
3. made a set of wedding invitations, for my cousin's wedding, which will be great examples to add to my inventory/example of custom work. this is the reason i am not offering the screen printed invitations. they did NOT go as planned and took way longer to make that i thought, and the whole big long story ended in me buying a laser printer (and loving it!), which sends my work offerings in another direction, one i feel more confident about it. all that to say, the vision has changed slightly once again, and with this change, i feel more confident about offering products i feel good about. anyway, the invitations are done, and ready to go to the bride.
4. look for part-time jobs: i did this! i sent out a bunch of resumes to different places, and have a few more to send out in july. i had an interview just this morning that went as well as i could possibly have hoped, although that doesn't mean i will get the job. and just this afternoon: i put in my two weeks' notice at my job!!!!! i seriously could not be happier (although i am getting sick from all the stress lately). i feel so great about this decision, and confident that everything will work out, one way or another.
5. write lesson plans for community ed classes. hmmm. didn't do this one, but it's going on the list for july.

here is what is on the list for july (as a side note, erin had a really great post about to do lists over on the bakery blog, for anyone interested. she shares some good tips i am going to start using):
1. develop product line, make, photograph and post online (hmmmm, is that too big of an item? i'll break it down). i am excited about this one.
2. decide on an opening date for my shop (which i like to refer to as "the business").
3. take some photos with my new diana! (i did get the film.)
4. nail down a part-time job.
5. contact bloggers/set up some advertising/sponsorship stuff.
6. write lesson plans/proposals for community ed classes.
7. oh, and this should maybe have been #1, but i now need to organize all the stuff in the file cabinet. somehow, my room is still overflowing with paperwork from the move, and it needs to have a home.

good luck to all of you with a to do list!

i am feeling really quiet tonight. it's late, and our beautiful new house is mostly dark, and very clean after hosting a party. and quiet. i think i feel quiet because i have to talk about something i have had a feeling was coming for a few days now: i am not ready to open my shop yet. as in, really not ready. yes, i could list a few things, but i did that before and it really didn't feel great. i want it to be coherent and real and substantial.
having said that, i feel i need explain myself. this is not some sort of subconscious "i'm afraid of actually doing this, so i'm looking for an excuse to put it off". that is not it. i am not a perfectionist, and i am anticipating this to be a slow-growing, organic sort of project, so it really is not my need for perfection that is stopping me. i am so emotionally and mentally ready to do this, to take this risk, i can hardly stand it. i have felt lately so much positive momentum moving me forward, i get giddy just thinking about it. this just, apparently, is not exactly the right moment.
and i am okay with that.
which, at this point, is all that matters, i think. i am usually very hard on myself, but really, there is no reason to flog myself over this. i have had a lot of most-nighters lately, and i am running very low on energy. i am working on a big project that needs to finish up this week and is giving me no end of technical difficulties. the transition of moving has been long and kind of hard, but it has been good. the transition of quitting my job is another really big change that is not without its difficulties. to be honest, the only thing that really disappoints me is that i said something that i couldn't follow through on. not following through is one of my biggest pet peeves (the phrase 'pet peeve' is high on the list, too). but even to that, i have nothing to say. perhaps i am just too tired right now (i do not, let's face it, have the energy to put together the selection of wolf-themed pictures to go with this post, as i feel like the girl who cried wolf. i had lots of material for that, but. . . .)
anyway, i am going to take a few days to get my wits about me, maybe get some sleep. i'm going to finish the aforementioned project, and go from there. i haven't quite figured out when a good revised opening date would be, but the news will be here when i figure it out.
that's all. i might be a little quiet on here for a bit. i'm not sure yet, but a break might be a good thing.

wish i was here.

(from the haystack needle: woolly pocket gardens! they have an adorable blog also.)

and by here, i mean this amazing room! i can't get it out of my mind this week. one of my work survival tactics is to put something amazing and beautiful on my computer's desktop as a reminder that i am working on the life i want. which, really, involves working for myself from home/my studio. more on that later.
i'm escaping to wisconsin this weekend (my sister is there!) and it will feel so great to have a couple of days off, too.
i do want to share a couple of new blog friends i made this week (and by made, i mean found them and said "hi!" because hey, every friendship starts somewhere):
geraniums and potatoes: posts about LOVELY things (and lives in minneapolis!)
the design alphabet: this is a great concept! she posts beautiful art and design things based on letters of the alphabet, one for every day.
and that's me, signing off for the week. i hope you all have a lovely weekend!

june to do list (this is kind of a long one, folks).

(photo found at sfgirlbybay. i want to organize my to do list and other workspace information on clipboards like this!)

yay! i love monthly goal meetup!
i had four goals in may. i sort of bombed on all of them. and i am not even kidding. i want to talk about may, though, because a LOT happened in may, just not what i had intended. and i need to start not exaggerating my failure with statements like that second one (i.e. i need to not be so hard on myself). one thing i need to work on in general is giving myself more credit. instead of looking back on my month and say, "i didn't get my four things done, i'm so lame", i need to say, "this is what i did, that i didn't anticipate coming up, but turned out to be really great!" and give myself credit for the things i do, whether they are directly related to work or not (i was inspired about this way by amanda at daily worth, who included personal time as something to prioritize in one of her posts this week). after all, if i am my business, i need to take care of me, and that means all of me.
so, i did some things that i always do, like blogging a lot, and commenting on blogs, which led to more blog friends! i blogged about how much i love daily worth, and that led to some great correspondence and new friends, and to me learning a little more about twitter! also, i made some baby party invitations and sent them out, i finished up letterpress class and made friends with my teacher, i got a cute little haircut. i also got to meet sally and jena.
also, i moved, which turned everything upside-down. it was kind of a long, drawn-out, exhausting process, and only now seems to be drawing to a close. but it will be good! we have a lovely new house, and once we are totally settled and i have a good nap, all will be good. it's a magical house, i can feel it.

okay, so to recap, my may goals were:
1. make things. i made a few things, but not as many as i wanted to.
2. photograph the things i have made. this didn't happen, since it was dependent on #1.
3. really, seriously, get a file box (the paperwork is overflowing, folks). i looked at file cabinets, but they were kind of expensive! i think i can find one cheaper than $50, so i am going to keep my eyes out for one. also, considering my new living situation, my filing needs may have changed. so i will figure that one out. HOLD ON!! as of 7:30pm tonight, friday, june 5, i am the proud owner of a great little beige file cabinet, which i snagged for $10. amy and i went to look at a couch from craigslist and the file cabinet was just there. talk about synchronicity!
4. write up my application for the eileen fisher grant. this was the biggest bomb. i wrote it, i edited it, i had it all ready. and then i moved to a house with no internet and couldn't access the website until the evening of june 1, the due date. and i was too late! they were due at noon. so i just plain old didn't plan ahead. and it's okay. i'm pretty sure it would have been a loooong shot anyway. but i am going to keep looking for grants and other opportunities.
5. look for a new, part time job. i did this! i got my resume all spiffed up and sent it off, but now i am just waiting to hear. and looking for new jobs to apply for.

and looking forward. . . june goals:
1. finish making things! i have some specific inventory goals on my list: thank yous, camping cards, sample stationery sets. i also have an order for wedding invitations, and a set of baby announcements that need to get finished.
1.5 take photos and get etsy site ready to launch (i am aiming for july 1! eeek!)
2. order paper and envelopes!
3. buy screenprinting supplies!
4. apply for more jobs.
5. write class proposals for community ed classes.
6. start contacting bloggers and websites about advertising and possible give-away items (things i want to give away).
7. get some 120 film for my diana f and start taking photos!

i'm sure there are more, but that is a good list to start with. i like loose guidelines and jumping off points (mmmm, docks! summer! vacation! will i ever get one?)

i love my daily worth.

a few months back, jena posted some encouraging words she had received in her daily worth email and i was so inspired, i went right over to the website to sign up to get my own money-related love notes! since then, i really do look forward to them every day. i thought i would share a couple with you, the ones that have been most encouraging and challenging to me. but don't take my word for it, sign up to receive your own! here is a good one to start with:

Waiting Out the Darkness
You've decided that you want something – a new job or career, a particular client, a new house, a move across the country – and you go after it. Here's the catch: It could take days, months, even years. You just have to be determined enough to wait out the darkness in between the “wanting” and the “getting.”

i breathed a huge sigh of relief when i read this. there was some more information at the bottom of the email, with a link to an article, and the words "getting rich slowly". which was exactly the reminder i needed. i will not save all the money i need overnight, it takes time. it takes time to build up a savings account for emergencies or overhead for a tiny business start-up. it takes time to save up for the things i want. and that is okay. it's really all about my attitude, my perseverance, and my patience.

get it done in may.

(these are some pictures i took yesterday as i was STILL trying to diagnose what is wrong with my press. since i couldn't get my head into the tiny spot behind the platen, i stuck my camera in there to take a picture of the offending part to see what the screw thingy looks like. i was so pleasantly surprised to find these compositions on the screen of my camera! i forget how much i love bright, saturated colors until i see them and they just make me giddy! they seem like the perfect driving force for my new line of designs, and i am excited to start working with them).

i didn't quite get everything done from my april to do list. april was not a good month for me, i was sick and out of town (that was good, but not for my productivity) and just off, in general. however, i feel pretty good about what i did get done (considering), and i am ready to go with my goals for may:
1. make things. i have been kind of creatively blocked--or intimidated is maybe a better word--and i need to get making things.
2. photograph the things i have made.
3. really, seriously, get a file box (the paperwork is overflowing, folks).
4. write up my application for the eileen fisher grant.
5. look for a new, part time job.

i think i am going to keep it at five for may, since those are five pretty big ones, and i really want to have them done by the end of may. also, i am going with the theory (it's a new one) that if i can remember the goals in my head, maybe they will actually get done. the bigger end goal is to get my etsy shop re-opened by the end of may/beginning of june. i have been fighting with google analytics lately, as i cannot seem to troubleshoot why they are not tracking my blog--which i am really curious about. if anyone has any tips, i would be so grateful. i still can't manage to get my press fixed, and my frustration is growing.
and in general? i feel a little discouraged. i am having trouble keeping good perspective lately. but may is going to be better!
so there. here we go!

to do list.

jena is a genius. not only does she have a popular design blog, she has recently started a new blog for those of us working toward having, or already have, our own creative micro-businesses. and now, she has introduced her modish monthly goal meetup! and, she's pretty. and so nice!
all of this is perfect for a capricorn/badger girl like me. i like lists, i like to get things done, cross things off, stay focused. and now, as i share with you my To Do List for April, you will see the mountain of work i have ahead of me. but this is just motivation! and i feel up for the challenge--if i didn't, i wouldn't be doing this. okay, okay, on with it then.

1. DONE! finalize business card design. i am open to helpful and kind input. i am going for simple, clean, and a little clever. i would have loved to upload a larger photo right here, but i am still mystified by how blogger photo uploading works. anyway, these will be letterpressed by moi, probably on various colors of paper in various other (darker) colors of ink.





2. DONE! order a boxcar base and plates for hello, thank you, and business cards from boxcar press.
3. DONE! buy a printer. maybe that should have been #2, as printing these things out before sending them to the platemakers might be helpful. as would learning how to use adobe illustrator.
4. DONE! talk to a lawyer. good thing for me heather s. is in town and sleeping on my couch tomorrow night.
5. DONE! order paper, paper samples, and envelopes.
6. design and print mel's baby announcements.
7. BACK BURNER. develop regular blog content and start writing it. anything you guys particularly want my perspective on? this will probably be an on-going project.
8. start printing sample stationery sets. run a promotion asking if anyone wants a sample stationery set made my me.
9. decide which causes i want to support with my business (kiva, invisible children, and lifewater are the ones that have been on my mind lately--oh, there are so many!) **i think i am going to go with kiva and toms shoes to start. but if anyone knows of a good organization that helps afghan women, i would be interested to know about it.
10. finish my once-through of the boss of you. this book is amazing, ladies.
11. get a file box.
12. nail down a final budget, mission statement, and overall vision for my business.
13. write a profile--heather and kim lambright, could you maybe help with that? and organize blog links, make the whole thing look more intentional and together.

okay, that is a lot of goals, but a lot of them are underway, and a lot of them are small and have been on my to do list for a long time, so it's definitely time they become concrete and crossed off.

also, a couple of working habits i want to start:
1. work in my workspace! there's a reason i bought this little table from ikea and put it together myself (well, dad did the tough stuff).
2. no tv while i'm working. this just leads to wasted time on the internet/computer.

i kind of can't get over these images of a fun, outdoor party. i have been feeling itchy about life lately, wanting terribly to escape the city, see something new, and have some quiet. not that a party is quiet, but it is fun, and this one is the perfect visual escape from the three beige walls of my cube. i wish blogger would keep the pictures in a larger size when i upload them. humph.

(image from birch, via jordan)

sigh.

i actually really wish i were here with all the other printmaking nerds. i told myself i would go, since it's so close, but i have not been prolific at all lately (i think i made one real print last year--yikes), and somehow that translated into not having anything to share and thinking i would show up and feel like a fraud. not that anyone else would even notice, but still. and i didn't want to go alone. or with strangers.
i feel like i have been in a funk for a long time, and i need to snap out of it.
thus ends the string of introspective blog entries.

st. stomach's day.

do you ever wish that maybe you didn't have such an agreeable appetite? that maybe that loving mother of yours had not instilled in you the value of eating whatever is put in front of you? for example, it might sometimes be helpful to not really find everything appealing. and by everything i mean the samosas, the chicken fingers, the french fries, and the blue moon. not everyone is adventurous with food. but you, you are indiscriminating. you'll try anything at least once! you will take what others turn down! oh, yes. and you will regret it.
you will also regret the decision to follow your happy hour experience with a trip to the gym (after all, you picked the pub that is next door to the y for exactly this convenient reason!), where you will bounce up and down for thirty minutes and consume copious amounts of water--brilliant!
and of course, after all this, you must get yourself home. how convenient (the theme of the evening) that you chose today as your inaugural bike riding day of the season! there is nothing like a two-mile bike ride in the chilly minnesota night, that's for sure (these are the experiences that, if she read your blog, would make your dear mother shudder with fear for you). about halfway home, you realize that stopping is not an option. somehow the inertia of pedaling keeps all the food inside you. you contemplate which would be worse: barfing on a random street corner, or on the steps of your own house. you imagine what it would be like to throw up while in motion. would it throw you off balance and cause you to crash? would you be able to strategically miss yourself and your bike in the process?
thankfully, you make it home without any actual vomiting (it's a miracle!) and recover slowly on the couch. you swear this is not happening again.
you resolve to be more picky next time. and to follow your pickiness with something besides a trip to the gym, no matter how convenient it may be.

fishnets.

it is late, i have a headache, and i am possibly already breaking my lenten sacrifice of no gratuitous internet use--which, of course, is not something i should be talking about, especially here, in this very public forum we call the internet.
however!! i have to say that i believe some things are coming together to put me on my desired path sooner than i was anticipating.
but i don't want to jinx anything (wait, do i a believe that?)
i have been working my way, rather slowly--and rather poorly, through the artist's way, the universal creativity rehab course. julia cameron keeps saying things like "leap, and the net will appear". well, for a long time i felt like i was leaping, but no net. just splat! on the concrete below. actually, they are rocks. rocks and scraggly trees and sagebrush (i did grow up in the mountains, after all).
but this week? this week i am leaping. and this week, there seems to be a net. it's a little hard to see, as if it were made of fishing line, it mostly just reflects the sunlight here and there. but it is there. so it is time to close my eyes and take a running jump, limbs spread wide. i have found some friends to help, and i think i have found some equipment.
but, shhhh! nothing's official yet, so no details.
how's that for creating interest, huh?
you're hooked, i can tell.

a case of the tuesdays?

ugh. i do not want to go to work today (or any day, really). it is dark and windy outside and i mostly just feel like staying home with some music, coffee, and research. it is time to get serious about this working for myself thing, and it is all i can think about. also, i want to make these cookies. oh, and i want to read the tenth muse, because it looks amazing (is it one of those things i have just not paid attention to before?) a lot of my thoughts lately are about what i want out of life, what i want to do, and what i want to surround myself with--not in a hopeless, depressing way, but in a "let's make it happen" sort of way:
i want to read more.
i want to cook more.
i want to take more photographs.
those are just three, i am holding back a little, because being on the internet is like being in public, and it's good to not let it all hang out all the time.
however, it is off to work for me.
i am always ten minutes late and i hardly ever care. i think that is not such a good sign.

there are days--lots of them lately--when i want to stand on the roof and scream at the top of my lungs.
amy suggests that perhaps that could be the american equivalent to the siesta. round about noon we all hop out onto our roofs, wherever we are, and let loose, just get it all out.
i almost feel refreshed just thinking about it.
minnesota will never be the birthplace of that tradition.

walking home from the bus stop tonight, i turned into one of those people. you know, one of those people you don't run into often, but you are probably glad you don't. those people who perhaps sing or whistle along to whatever music is playing only in their ears, those people who bop along on the sidewalk, just happy to be alive. agh! those people!
i was suffering from an overload of energy (i do work in an office after all--another subject for another day) and i just really could not help but sing along with my ipod and then get terribly distracted by the deep dusk sky and the white lights on the trees along second street. and seeing as i am so obsessed with valentines, i tried to draw a heart for you while the exposure ran. it reminded me of writing my name with sparklers as a kid, the bottom photo reminds me of a slinky. the lines and textures of the photos also remind me somewhat of the lines and textures in printmaking, which are always unique and wonderful.
oh, and of course i couldn't resist the moon mingling with the twinkle lights above the squares of the condo roof.
it felt great to bop around the sidewalk, sing along with gillian welch, and play with my camera for a few minutes. it felt great to ignore everything else and be really happy to be alive.